Shepton Mallet University of the Third Age
THIS month Shepton Mallet U3A members welcomed a charming and witty lady, Susan Marshfield, whose subject for the talk was "You can choose your friends... but...".
Susan chose to discuss "relationships". "We can choose our partner but not our in-laws" she reminded us. She quoted Agatha Christie who said: "I married an archaeologist because the older I grow, the more he appreciated me". She mentioned comedians who back in the old days did, what is now not very PC, mother-in-law jokes. When the family, who came from Northamptonshire, had holidays, they went to Mundesley in Norfolk. And back in 1939, they would go to the shows on Cromer pier. By the time she was six she was an expert on mother-in-law jokes but revealed that she did not actually understand them. She remembers being told the joke by a judge who had been at the Bar for 40 years, when on a bigamy case, the defendant asked: "What's the worse I can get?" The judge duly replied: "Two mothers-in-law".
She did not get on well with her mother, who always referred to her as "the child". Susan was the lowly one: "I knew my place". Her sister, who was very much like her mother agreed to this statement. Her brother also did not get on with mother and he took himself off and joined the RAF. He did three years' National Service then came home, had a row with Mother and then, in 1959, emigrated to Canada. He only came back twice. He visited mother when she was dying in the August and it was said she would be "gone" by the weekend so he got 15 days' special compassionate leave, he stayed but she never died. She lasted until the September and died at 53 as did all the women in the family. Susan said she worried when she got to be 53, and said: "When I got to 54 I thought I was immortal".
Mother was very good at embroidery and bridge so Susan did neither, she did darning. "I darned my way in khaki in the war!. I was not like my mother at all but shared my father's build and characteristics."
Grandchildren, "They weave in and out of your life like a golden thread" she said. She was in the car with them once and her 11 year old grandson announced "We did sex education last term". "How far did you get?" one of the older ones asked. After going into great detail Susan told us that it was so technical and biological that she didn't understand any of it. On one occasion when mother had gone away for the day she left father in charge. Mother had given him his instructions for looking after the children, and had naturally expected them to stay at home and behave, but their uncle, who had a sports car came round and they all jumped into the car and went off to London. They dined in The Trocadero Restaurant in Piccadilly. The highlight of her day was listening to Edmundo Ross and his Latin American Band. Their waiter came up and asked if they would like a request and what music did they like, so they played "Horsely keep your tail up". When they returned home Mother later arrived back and asked what they had done, and they told her, she would not believe them and was shocked when father confirmed that it was all true.
Recently her grandson went to Glastonbury and she asked him if he had packed his towel and was told, "I won't need one".
She finalised her tales with a quote from the 19th-century English novelist, William Makepeace Thackeray. "If a man's character is to be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relative to do the business".
Peter Howell, chairman, thanked Susan very much for an enjoyable and entertaining talk and informed members that there would be no August meeting as U3A were having the Barry Holmes Revue at Doulting Hall on Thursday, August 15.
Jane Webber
